while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
