so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
