Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
its liver damage thursday
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