this just has baby written all over it
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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