yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
