How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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