its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
