Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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