I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
