sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
