Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
