Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
