My Higher Power is John Stamos
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
