Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
