omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
