Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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