He is an equal opportunity slut.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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