I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
