ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
