i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize