no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
