at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
