it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
