I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
