going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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