Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
