Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
