my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
