omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
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