take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
