I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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