i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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