I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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