Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
