your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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