Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you would pick up someone in the library
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
