Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
