If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We had to coat check the pizza.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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