i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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