Your tits are I can't wait for
Screwed.edu
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
