I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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