Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
