what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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