You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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