so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
