ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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