how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
