He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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