Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
