There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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