I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So many bounce houses so little time
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
